Growing up I had this major problem: I went to my friends and family to "vent" instead of talking things out directly with the individual involved. This was an awful habit that I didn't get straight until I went for training in 2009 with Adventures in Missions. It was during this week of intensive in-your-face training that I realized the damage I had caused to relationships just by not opening up and settling things.
For the past several months I have had an issue in my LONG distant cross-cultural marriage. Because I effectively learned this skill of direct communication, I have been using it to tell Mr. Onyango exactly how I feel. I haven't involved others because I didn't want anyone to be involved in my relationship. I wanted to prove that I COULD WORK OUT THINGS ON MY OWN. So, this same issue kept coming up and I was getting heart broken over and over again.
Last week I finally did what I did not want to do. I explained the issue to my brother in law and briefly told my mother. Mama did what she does best and sent an email to Mr. Onyango to address the issue. His brother met with him to discuss the same. And believe it or not within 5 days I could see a change.
Today I called my new friend (her husband is from Uganda but Luo). Though I called for business purposes, the conversation turned to how things were in my Cross Cultural Marriage. When I explained what had taken place she offered great insight to me. You know how the old African adage says, "It takes a Village to raise a child"? I want to make my own adage, "It takes a Village to maintain a marriage."
I am having to re-learn relationship bonding techniques because my husband is like no other man I've ever known. And in order to do this marriage effectively, I cannot work alone. I must lean on trusted family and friends, especially people like Stacy who are just a few steps ahead of me in marriage to a "foreigner".
I AM NOT KENYAN!
For the past several months I have had an issue in my LONG distant cross-cultural marriage. Because I effectively learned this skill of direct communication, I have been using it to tell Mr. Onyango exactly how I feel. I haven't involved others because I didn't want anyone to be involved in my relationship. I wanted to prove that I COULD WORK OUT THINGS ON MY OWN. So, this same issue kept coming up and I was getting heart broken over and over again.
Last week I finally did what I did not want to do. I explained the issue to my brother in law and briefly told my mother. Mama did what she does best and sent an email to Mr. Onyango to address the issue. His brother met with him to discuss the same. And believe it or not within 5 days I could see a change.
Today I called my new friend (her husband is from Uganda but Luo). Though I called for business purposes, the conversation turned to how things were in my Cross Cultural Marriage. When I explained what had taken place she offered great insight to me. You know how the old African adage says, "It takes a Village to raise a child"? I want to make my own adage, "It takes a Village to maintain a marriage."
I am having to re-learn relationship bonding techniques because my husband is like no other man I've ever known. And in order to do this marriage effectively, I cannot work alone. I must lean on trusted family and friends, especially people like Stacy who are just a few steps ahead of me in marriage to a "foreigner".
I AM NOT KENYAN!